http://hdlns.com/g1316 http://hdlns.com/rss_g1316.xml Jokes and Humor en-us Aggregation copyright hdlns (dot com), articles copyright original authors. http://hdlns.com/g1316/Jokes+and+Humor+-+Jokes+and+Humor HDLNS.com is the easiest to use aggregated content RSS Reader on the net. No need to sign up, nothing to remember. Just browse and read. http://hdlns.com/g1316zf867za44884058/AZ+man+convicted+of+pulling+over+off-duty+officer PHOENIX (AP) -- An Arizona man accused admonishing motorists of traffic laws while posing as a police officer apparently picked the wrong driver to pull over.... http://hdlns.com/g1316zf867za44884053/Hurt+dog+shows+up+at+New+Mexico+emergency+room FARMINGTON, N.M. (AP) -- The patient was only slightly injured when he limped into a hospital in the northwest New Mexico city of Farmington. The only problem was, he was a dog. When the automatic doors at San Juan Regional Medical Center's emerg http://hdlns.com/g1316zf867za44884057/AG%3A+Mass.+dentist+used+paper+clips+in+root+canals FALL RIVER, Mass. (AP) -- A former Massachusetts dentist is accused of placing paper clips instead of stainless steel posts inside the teeth of root canal patients while billing Medicaid for the more expensive parts.... http://hdlns.com/g1316zf867za44884052/Woman+allegedly+hits+sister+with+toilet+tank+lid IOWA CITY, Iowa (AP) -- Iowa City police arrested a woman who allegedly attacked her sister with the lid of a toilet tank. Nitasha Johnson, of Iowa City, was arrested early Sunday and was charged with domestic abuse assault causing injury and int http://hdlns.com/g1316zf867za44884056/Drunk+teacher+allegedly+bites+man%27s+ear+in+attack ST. PAUL, Minn. (AP) -- A middle school teacher was accused of biting off part of a man's ear during a confrontation at a St. Paul diner. Prosecutors said the 30-year-old woman was drunk when she attacked the man at the Uptowner about 4 a.m. Sund http://hdlns.com/g1316zf867za44884051/Determined+dog+chews+officer%27s+tires%2C+bumper CHATTANOOGA, Tenn. (AP) -- What happened to a Chattanooga police officer's car was certainly under the radar. A city police spokeswoman said Sunday that Officer Clayton Holmes had been checking traffic speeds with radar and stopped to fill out a http://hdlns.com/g1316zf867za44884055/Thief+replaces+stolen+car+wheels+with+worn+tires LANCASTER, Pa. (AP) -- Police said a central Pennsylvania thief who stole the wheels off a car was nice enough to replace them - albeit with worn tires. Police in Lancaster said the thief broke a car window overnight Sunday and stole the car's st http://hdlns.com/g1316zf867za44884050/Swiss+designer+creates+dinosaur+dung+watch GENEVA (AP) -- A Swiss watchmaker is hoping to raise a stink with an expensive timepiece that eschews the trade's standard gold, diamond or titanium fittings for a more earthy substance - dinosaur dung. Vesenaz, Switzerland-based company Artya sa http://hdlns.com/g1316zf867za44884059/Helicopter+rescues+horse+stranded+on+Ariz.+sandbar PHOENIX (AP) -- It's not every day you see a horse fly. But with the greatest of ease, a heavy-duty helicopter plucked a mustang named Colorado off a western Arizona river sandbar Tuesday morning, reuniting him with his owner.... http://hdlns.com/g1316zf867za44884054/Man+arrested+after+firing+shotgun+at+his+own+fence MANDEVILLE, La. (AP) -- A 41-year-old man faces felony charges after firing a shotgun at the fence around his home to 'blow off steam' after an argument with his wife. Mandeville police spokesman Eric Gulino said officers were called to the home http://hdlns.com/g1316zf293za44882744/An+ode+to+Beckham Extract not available. http://hdlns.com/g1316zf293za44882743/Cowabunga%2C+dude%21 Extract not available. http://hdlns.com/g1316zf293za44882745/When+horses+fly%3A+Helicopter+rescues+horse+stranded+nearly+5+days+on+US+sand PHOENIX - It's not every day you see a horse fly. But with the greatest of ease, a heavy-duty helicopter plucked a mustang named Colorado off an Arizona river sandbar Tuesday morning, reuniting him with his owner. Colorado spent five days stranded on http://hdlns.com/g1316zf293za44882742/Minors+plot+to+poison+stepmother Updated 8 hr(s) 27 min(s) ago Related Stories Two minors have baffled Naivasha residents after they tried to poison their stepmother for allegedly mistreating them. The children, aged four and six, shocked children officers and child activists after http://hdlns.com/g1316zf12007za44882239/Desperate+Tea+Partiers+Claim+Health+Reform+Bill+Creates+%27Tickle+Panels%27 “WE’RE NOT GONNA’ FOLLOW ERIC MASSA AND THE DEMOCRAT PARTY.  GRANDMA IS NOT ‘TICKLE- READY,’ ESPECIALLY SINCE SHE HASN’T LAUGHED SINCE THE BOB HOPE USO TOUR IN VIETNAM.” ————&#8212 http://hdlns.com/g1316zf867za44881546/Swiss+designer+creates+dinosaur+dung+watch GENEVA (AP) -- A Swiss watchmaker is hoping to raise a stink with an expensive timepiece that eschews the trade's standard gold, diamond or titanium fittings for a more earthy substance - dinosaur dung. Vesenaz, Switzerland-based company Artya sa http://hdlns.com/g1316zf867za44881555/Helicopter+rescues+horse+stranded+on+Ariz.+sandbar PHOENIX (AP) -- It's not every day you see a horse fly. But with the greatest of ease, a heavy-duty helicopter plucked a mustang named Colorado off a western Arizona river sandbar Tuesday morning, reuniting him with his owner.... http://hdlns.com/g1316zf867za44881550/Man+arrested+after+firing+shotgun+at+his+own+fence MANDEVILLE, La. (AP) -- A 41-year-old man faces felony charges after firing a shotgun at the fence around his home to 'blow off steam' after an argument with his wife. Mandeville police spokesman Eric Gulino said officers were called to the home http://hdlns.com/g1316zf867za44881554/AZ+man+convicted+of+pulling+over+off-duty+officer PHOENIX (AP) -- An Arizona man accused admonishing motorists of traffic laws while posing as a police officer apparently picked the wrong driver to pull over.... http://hdlns.com/g1316zf867za44881549/Hurt+dog+shows+up+at+New+Mexico+emergency+room FARMINGTON, N.M. (AP) -- The patient was only slightly injured when he limped into a hospital in the northwest New Mexico city of Farmington. The only problem was, he was a dog. When the automatic doors at San Juan Regional Medical Center's emerg http://hdlns.com/g1316zf867za44881553/AG%3A+Mass.+dentist+used+paper+clips+in+root+canals FALL RIVER, Mass. (AP) -- A former Massachusetts dentist is accused of placing paper clips instead of stainless steel posts inside the teeth of root canal patients while billing Medicaid for the more expensive parts.... http://hdlns.com/g1316zf867za44881548/Woman+allegedly+hits+sister+with+toilet+tank+lid IOWA CITY, Iowa (AP) -- Iowa City police arrested a woman who allegedly attacked her sister with the lid of a toilet tank. Nitasha Johnson, of Iowa City, was arrested early Sunday and was charged with domestic abuse assault causing injury and int http://hdlns.com/g1316zf867za44881552/Drunk+teacher+allegedly+bites+man%27s+ear+in+attack ST. PAUL, Minn. (AP) -- A middle school teacher was accused of biting off part of a man's ear during a confrontation at a St. Paul diner. Prosecutors said the 30-year-old woman was drunk when she attacked the man at the Uptowner about 4 a.m. Sund http://hdlns.com/g1316zf867za44881547/Determined+dog+chews+officer%27s+tires%2C+bumper CHATTANOOGA, Tenn. (AP) -- What happened to a Chattanooga police officer's car was certainly under the radar. A city police spokeswoman said Sunday that Officer Clayton Holmes had been checking traffic speeds with radar and stopped to fill out a http://hdlns.com/g1316zf867za44881551/Thief+replaces+stolen+car+wheels+with+worn+tires LANCASTER, Pa. (AP) -- Police said a central Pennsylvania thief who stole the wheels off a car was nice enough to replace them - albeit with worn tires. Police in Lancaster said the thief broke a car window overnight Sunday and stole the car's st http://hdlns.com/g1316zf741za44880958/Rediscovering+Salsa%2C+the+Soul+of+Mexico+in+a+Bowl Salsa has emerged as Mexico's most misunderstood culinary export. http://hdlns.com/g1316zf12001za44880214/Happy+Dog var fbShare = {url: 'http://nerdnirvana.org/2010/03/16/happy-dog/',size:'small'} http://hdlns.com/g1316zf12001za44880218/I%27m+On+A+Boat%3A+Death+Metal+Cover var fbShare = {url: 'http://nerdnirvana.org/2010/03/16/im-on-a-boat-death-metal-cover/',size:'small'} http://hdlns.com/g1316zf12001za44880213/Even+Alien+Needs+a+Vacation var fbShare = {url: 'http://nerdnirvana.org/2010/03/16/even-alien-needs-a-vacation/',size:'small'} http://hdlns.com/g1316zf12001za44880217/No+One+Vacations+at+Drowney+Lake var fbShare = {url: 'http://nerdnirvana.org/2010/03/16/no-one-vacations-at-drowney-lake/',size:'small'} http://hdlns.com/g1316zf12001za44880212/Don%27t+Even+Think+of+Parking+Here var fbShare = {url: 'http://nerdnirvana.org/2010/03/16/dont-even-think-of-parking-here/',size:'small'} http://hdlns.com/g1316zf12001za44880221/Alien+vs.+Predator var fbShare = {url: 'http://nerdnirvana.org/2010/03/17/alien-vs-predator/',size:'small'} http://hdlns.com/g1316zf12001za44880216/Little+Dog+Humps+Big+Dog She’s out of his league. var fbShare = {url: 'http://nerdnirvana.org/2010/03/16/little-dog-humps-big-dog/',size:'small'} http://hdlns.com/g1316zf12001za44880220/Creative+Resumes Resume on Google Maps. var fbShare = {url: 'http://nerdnirvana.org/2010/03/17/creative-resumes/',size:'small'} http://hdlns.com/g1316zf12001za44880215/Japanese%3A+Laugh+and+Get+Punished var fbShare = {url: 'http://nerdnirvana.org/2010/03/16/japanese-laugh-and-get-punished/',size:'small'} http://hdlns.com/g1316zf12001za44880219/Things+You+Can%27t+Do+When+You%27re+Not+a+Dog A ridiculous look at what dogs can get away with but humans can’t. var fbShare = {url: 'http://nerdnirvana.org/2010/03/16/things-you-cant-do-when-youre-not-a-dog/',size:'small'} http://hdlns.com/g1316zf12028za44878882/PR%3A+Ripping+the+Collections%3A+Ben+-+Part+2 To infinity and beyond!If you're having display issues with your feed, subscribe to our new feed. Click for full post. http://hdlns.com/g1316zf12028za44878881/Nina+Garcia%2C+Fashion+Director+of+FABULOUS Look out, bitches! She's HAD IT!If you're having display issues with your feed, subscribe to our new feed. Click for full post. http://hdlns.com/g1316zf867za44877877/Swiss+designer+creates+dinosaur+dung+watch GENEVA (AP) -- A Swiss watchmaker is hoping to raise a stink with an expensive timepiece that eschews the trade's standard gold, diamond or titanium fittings for a more earthy substance - dinosaur dung. Vesenaz, Switzerland-based company Artya sa http://hdlns.com/g1316zf867za44877886/Helicopter+rescues+horse+stranded+on+Ariz.+sandbar PHOENIX (AP) -- It's not every day you see a horse fly. But with the greatest of ease, a heavy-duty helicopter plucked a mustang named Colorado off a western Arizona river sandbar Tuesday morning, reuniting him with his owner.... http://hdlns.com/g1316zf867za44877881/Man+arrested+after+firing+shotgun+at+his+own+fence MANDEVILLE, La. (AP) -- A 41-year-old man faces felony charges after firing a shotgun at the fence around his home to 'blow off steam' after an argument with his wife. Mandeville police spokesman Eric Gulino said officers were called to the home http://hdlns.com/g1316zf867za44877885/AZ+man+convicted+of+pulling+over+off-duty+officer PHOENIX (AP) -- An Arizona man accused admonishing motorists of traffic laws while posing as a police officer apparently picked the wrong driver to pull over.... http://hdlns.com/g1316zf867za44877880/Hurt+dog+shows+up+at+New+Mexico+emergency+room FARMINGTON, N.M. (AP) -- The patient was only slightly injured when he limped into a hospital in the northwest New Mexico city of Farmington. The only problem was, he was a dog. When the automatic doors at San Juan Regional Medical Center's emerg http://hdlns.com/g1316zf867za44877884/AG%3A+Mass.+dentist+used+paper+clips+in+root+canals FALL RIVER, Mass. (AP) -- A former Massachusetts dentist is accused of placing paper clips instead of stainless steel posts inside the teeth of root canal patients while billing Medicaid for the more expensive parts.... http://hdlns.com/g1316zf867za44877879/Woman+allegedly+hits+sister+with+toilet+tank+lid IOWA CITY, Iowa (AP) -- Iowa City police arrested a woman who allegedly attacked her sister with the lid of a toilet tank. Nitasha Johnson, of Iowa City, was arrested early Sunday and was charged with domestic abuse assault causing injury and int http://hdlns.com/g1316zf867za44877883/Drunk+teacher+allegedly+bites+man%27s+ear+in+attack ST. PAUL, Minn. (AP) -- A middle school teacher was accused of biting off part of a man's ear during a confrontation at a St. Paul diner. Prosecutors said the 30-year-old woman was drunk when she attacked the man at the Uptowner about 4 a.m. Sund http://hdlns.com/g1316zf867za44877878/Determined+dog+chews+officer%27s+tires%2C+bumper CHATTANOOGA, Tenn. (AP) -- What happened to a Chattanooga police officer's car was certainly under the radar. A city police spokeswoman said Sunday that Officer Clayton Holmes had been checking traffic speeds with radar and stopped to fill out a http://hdlns.com/g1316zf867za44877882/Thief+replaces+stolen+car+wheels+with+worn+tires LANCASTER, Pa. (AP) -- Police said a central Pennsylvania thief who stole the wheels off a car was nice enough to replace them - albeit with worn tires. Police in Lancaster said the thief broke a car window overnight Sunday and stole the car's st http://hdlns.com/g1316zf741za44877602/How+Privacy+Vanishes+Online%2C+a+Bit+at+a+Time Using innocuous bits of data from Web sites like Facebook and Twitter, researchers gleaned people's names, ages and even Social Security numbers. http://hdlns.com/g1316zf525za44877509/CNN%27s+Glenn+Beck+replacement+wingnut+possibly+more+gross+than+Glenn+Beck 'CNN has hired a commentator who thinks that feminists should get back into the kitchen, are too ugly to get dates, and all have castration shears hanging from their belts.' Actually, he calls 'em feminazis, dear. Meet Eric Erickson. (via @Random_Tan http://hdlns.com/g1316zf525za44877518/Beware%2C+the+Antarctic+Methane+Fart+of+Doom%21 Scientists from the University of Bristol in England believe that microbes living under ice sheets in Antarctica and Greenland could be emitting large quantities of the greenhouse gas methane. 'It could mean that as ice sheets melt under warmer tempe http://hdlns.com/g1316zf525za44877504/Police+seize+copies+of+Steampunk+magazine+and+kombucha+in+raid I'm a kombucha homebrewer and a user of nettles (for hay fever). So I was interested in this Common Dreams article about a police / Secret Service raid on a pair middle-aged housemates who were using Twitter to communicate with G20 summit protestors http://hdlns.com/g1316zf525za44877513/A+scientific+paper+you+will+never+forget+...+no+matter+how+hard+you+try In 1993, The Journal of Chemical Ecology published a study concerning chemosensory investigation in snakes, which the crew from NCBI ROFL believes you will find interesting. If you have a delicate disposition, please pretend the post ends here. D http://hdlns.com/g1316zf525za44877522/Mysterious+4%2C000-year-old+mummies+found+in+desert+north+of+Tibet A cache of particularly mysterious mummies has been discovered in a desert north of Tibet. The remains are of persons who died some 4,000 years ago. They lie beneath a forest of bare, phallic wooden poles. 'The cemetery lies in what is now China's no http://hdlns.com/g1316zf525za44877499/A+short%2C+illustrated+guide+to+tsubo I grew up in Japan, where we have a wonderful free health care system and some of the best-trained masseuses in the world. It was so nice to be able to walk to the neighborhood orthopedist any time my back was out of whack or I had a crook in my ne http://hdlns.com/g1316zf525za44877508/Therapeutic+ringtones+sweep+the+nation%2C+or+at+least+a+nation The best part of this story from TimesOnline, about the 'therapeutic ringtone' craze currently seizing Japan, isn't the fact that there are ringtones that allege to adrenalize you, ringtones that allege to improve your skin tone ('through the power o http://hdlns.com/g1316zf525za44877517/Reporting+in+Iraq%3A+personal+notes+from+Omar+Chatriwala+of+Al+Jazeera+Englis Omar Chatriwala, a correspondent based out of Doha, Qatar, with Al Jazeera English, has an interesting post up detailing the daily drudgery and detail of reporting in Iraq. Snip from the section about his entry into the country: It was another h http://hdlns.com/g1316zf525za44877503/US+Congress+Holds+Hearings+on+Unobtainium Life imitates Avatar. Danger Room reports, 'The House Committee on Science and Technology’s investigations and oversight panel is holding a hearing today on rare-earth metal supplies, focusing on China’s near-monopoly on the stuff. As we& http://hdlns.com/g1316zf525za44877512/FCC+wants+Congress+to+make+it+easy+for+American+TV+to+live+online Here's a couple of genuinely tasty morsels from the FCC's new broadband plan: Rec. 15.7: Congress should considered amending the Copyright Act to provide for copyright exemptions to public broadcasting organizations for online broadcasting organiza http://hdlns.com/g1316zf525za44877521/Docs+FOIA%27d+by+EFF+show+law+enforcement+use+social+networking+sites+to+spy The Electronic Frontier Foundation today released documents obtained under the Freedom of Information Act which discuss law enforcement agencies' use of social networking sites to gather data in investigations. 'One of the most interesting files is a http://hdlns.com/g1316zf525za44877498/Batman+Lightsaber+Shark Good morning! This thing of beauty brought to you by Slashfilm, via the always awesome Julio Ojeda-Zapata. Previously:Selleck Waterfall Sandwich http://hdlns.com/g1316zf525za44877507/New+Freddy+Krueger+movie+promo+seems+to+take+notes+from+War+on+Terror 'Caffeine pills, self mutilation, a cold shower - what will you do to keep her awake? www.KeepHerAwake.com.' That was the entirety of a promotional email I received from Warner Brothers this morning. Interactive marketing, in this case, means a Flash http://hdlns.com/g1316zf525za44877516/China+proposes+trans-Eurasian+rail+system+from+London+to+Beijing The Chinese government is offering to subsidize the creation of a trans-Eurasian rail system that would have direct, high-speed links between Beijing and London. It would be the largest infrastructure project ever attempted. Trains would also run to http://hdlns.com/g1316zf525za44877525/Now+hiring%3A+One+astronaut Is this 'help wanted' ad for an astronaut the most awesome job post ever, or sad reminder that even the incredibly far-freakin-out can become sort of mundane under the right context? (Thanks, Andrew Grant!) http://hdlns.com/g1316zf525za44877502/Mustache+crayons+for+sale+in+Boing+Boing+Bazaar Cory wrote about these mustache crayons a couple of weeks ago. I contacted the creator, Emily, and she is now selling them in the Boing Boing Bazaar! A set of four costs $7. Some facts about these mustache crayons follow. Please write down them on http://hdlns.com/g1316zf525za44877511/Florida+Family+Policy+Council+%27mistakenly%27+uses+wrong+photo+of+lesbian+pare From Sociological Images: The Florida Family Policy Council [a conservative Christian organization] sent out a message about a judge's ruling to allow a lesbian couple to adopt a relative's child they had been fostering. The FFPC, which opposes ga http://hdlns.com/g1316zf525za44877520/Guatemala%3A+In+memory+of+Comalapa Photo by James Rodriguez, from this multimedia image gallery documenting the inauguration of a memorial monument by the National Coordination of Guatemalan Widows (CONAVIGUA) in the former military garrison of San Juan Comalapa in Guatemala. This http://hdlns.com/g1316zf525za44877497/Victor+Gastelum%3A+Mano+Negra Mano Negra, [1996]. Spray-paint on holographic board. A piece by Victor Gastelum, currently showing at Track 16 Gallery at Bergamot Station in Santa Monica, CA. (thanks, Sean Meredith and Laurie Steelink) http://hdlns.com/g1316zf525za44877506/Guy+%28Ben+Folds%3F%29+plays+piano+and+sings+about+the+people+he%27s+chatrouletting I could watch Piano Chat Improv all day! http://hdlns.com/g1316zf525za44877515/NASA+finds+friends+in+low+places In December, NASA researchers drilled a 600-foot-deep hole through the Antarctic ice sheet and stuck a video camera down it. They'd assumed that nothing but microbes could live in such a cold, dark place. So they were surprised when a friendly little http://hdlns.com/g1316zf525za44877524/Whistling+Speech I really love the research that they're doing over at Yale's Haskins Laboratories: instead of studying speech perception and production in terms of faithfully replicating alllll of the sounds we make with our mouths, (like the minute clicks, po http://hdlns.com/g1316zf525za44877501/Canadian+copyright+shakeup%3A+proposals+for+meaningful%2C+pro-user+copyright+re Michael Geist sez, 'Canadian New Democratic Party MP Charlie Angus [ed: former frontman for punk greats L'Etranger] has shaken up the copyright reform process today with a pair of proposed measures. The first is a private member's bill that would http://hdlns.com/g1316zf525za44877510/Mark+McDonnell%27s+sketchbook Animator Mark McDonnell flips through his sketchbook filled with incredibly good drawings. This both inspires me and makes me want to throw in the towel. http://hdlns.com/g1316zf525za44877519/The+Complete+Milt+Gross+Comic+Books+and+Life+Story Cartoonist and comic book historian extraordinaire Craig Yoe sent me a copy of his latest book, Milt Gross: Comic Books and Life Story. Most people probably don't know who Milt Gross is, but in the 1920s and 1930s he was a cartoonist beloved by mil http://hdlns.com/g1316zf525za44877496/Tim+Bray+on+the+iPhone+vision XML co-inventor Tim Bray, on leaving Sun to be Google's Android developer advocate: 'The iPhone vision of the mobile Internet's future omits controversy, sex, and freedom, but includes strict limits on who can know what and who can say what. It's a s http://hdlns.com/g1316zf525za44877505/Bea+Arthur+Mountains+Pizza%21 Bea Arthur Mountains Pizza: Another tumblog of greatness (in the tradition of Selleck Waterfall Sandwich) spotted on Dangerous Minds. http://hdlns.com/g1316zf525za44877514/IRS+sends+out+two+agents+to+collect+%240.04+in+back-taxes+from+car-wash Two grim IRS agents travelled to Harv's Metro Car Wash in Sacramento to hand him a demand-letter for his taxes owing in arrears: $0.04 worth. Update: To be clear: it was $0.04 in unpaid tax that had accrued over $200 in penalties. Arriving at http://hdlns.com/g1316zf525za44877523/Vinyl+record+groove+under+electron+microscope%2C+at+1000x Here's a wonderful gallery at Reckon of high-magnification images of the grooves on a vinyl record, captured with an electron microscope. (via Farai Chideya) http://hdlns.com/g1316zf525za44877500/Cancer+deaths+have+been+falling+since+1990 A new study suggests that cancer deaths for people under age 75 have been on the decline since 1990 and are now at levels lower than when the War on Cancer began in 1971. But rather than amazing new treatments, the big key seems to be prevention&mdas http://hdlns.com/g1316zf12119za44876273/Meet+the+Only+Guy+in+the+U.S.+Who+Liked+Nights+in+Rodanthe Girlfriend to boyfriend walking out of movie theater: That was kinda lame... I totally saw that ending coming.Boyfriend: I don't know, I kind of liked it.Girlfriend, raising voice: What do you mean you liked it?Boyfriend: It was entertaining.Gir http://hdlns.com/g1316zf12119za44876272/Much+As+I+Love+the+United+Negro+Pizza+Fund Hobo, approaching preppy teens: Hey do y'all have some money so I could repair the motor on my giant helicopter?Preppy teenage girl: Uh, sure.Preppy teenage boy: Yeah, only because that's the coolest fucking reason ever.--7th Ave & 11th StOv http://hdlns.com/g1316zf12119za44876271/It%27s+Enough+to+Have+an+Albanian+Boyfriend+Who+Beats+Me 20-something girl #1, running into friend: Oh hey!! How are you?20-something girl #2: Doing so well! It's nice to see you...(they catch up, and five minutes later)20-something girl #1, changing the subject without warning: Yeah, I know a lot of http://hdlns.com/g1316zf12119za44876270/To+Be+Fair%2C+He+Proposed+to+a+Stripper. Guy #1: I used to know the price of a bag of weed. Now I know the price of a pound of New Zealand apples.Guy #2: Yeah, I know. I used to know the price of a lap dance from a good stripper. Now I know the price of an engagement ring.Guy #1: What happ http://hdlns.com/g1316zf2779za44875611/YOU+MIGHT+GET+A+CAT+IN+THERE%2C+BUT+IT+WOULD+TAKE+YOUR+ARM+WITH+IT Pet-washing machines. (Thanks to nursecindy) http://hdlns.com/g1316zf2779za44875610/OK+NAME+FOR+A+ROCK+BAND Bottomless Duds (Thanks to Allen at Division) http://hdlns.com/g1316zf2779za44875612/UM%2C+NO Could parachute-wearing bears sniff out Osama bin Laden? 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